Logs

You know how when you eat something and regret it and just feel all the fat sitting on your stomach and it disgusts you? Thats how i feel right now. I want a concave stomach and protruding hip bones.
Weighed in at 124.5 saturday.

Log 11/8/11

Fat. Fat. Fat.

New Way To Post Food Logs

I'm filling out food logs on my phone daily and from now on I'm going to do screen shots of those and post it with the days weight and possibly some thoughts and feelings from the day.
For an update: You should all know I have gained weight. I recently reached my heightest weight at about 130 lbs. I've been spending too much time at home which does'nt go well because I eat out of boredom. I recenty am finding out how to control this and weighed in at 126.6 today. Thank god. I was flipping out. Now that I'll br showing everyone what I eat it should be easier to eat better and less.
Here's yesterdays food list:

Today's Foods:

Negative Calorie Foods

list straight from: http://www.getyourtruthaboutabsbonus.com/fat-burning-foods/negative-calorie/

Free List Of Negative Calorie Foods

Negative Calorie Fruits:
Apples
Oranges
Strawberries
Raspberries
Mango
Tomato
Blueberries
Grapefruit and many more…

Negative Calorie Vegetables:
Asparagus
Broccoli
Hot Chilli
Spinach
Onion
Celery
Cabbage
Turnips and the list goes on…








and one more from: http://www.fatfreekitchen.com/negative-calorie-foods.html

Free List of Negative calorie Foods

Negative Calorie Vegetables
Asparagus Beet Root Broccoli Cabbage Carrot Cauliflower Celery	Chicory Hot Chili Cucumber Garden cress Garlic Green Beans	Lettuce Onion Radish Spinach Turnip Zucchini
Negative Calorie Fruits
Apple Blueberries Cantaloupe Cranberry Grapefruit	Honeydew Lemon/Lime Mango Orange Papaya Peach	Pineapple Raspberry Strawberry Tomato Tangerine Turnip Watermelon

Metabolism Boosters

Going to be eating a lot MORE of these foods and a lot LESS of others.

Information from: http://www.metabolism-boosting-foods.com/

Foods: 

oatmeal

wholegrain cereal

beef

chicken 

pork

salmon

sardines

tuna

turkey

raw almonds

apples 

asparagus

beans

berries 

blueberries

cabbage

canola oil

carrots 

cayenne peppers

celery

cucumber

curry

eggs

garlic 

grapefruit

habanero peppers

jalapeno peppers

lemon

lime 

oats 

olive oil 

oranges

P.B.

spinach 

sprouts

tomato

whole grains

yogurt

Obviously I'm not going to increase some of these foods. ie meats, P.B. oils, yogurt.  

But hey just wanted to share with you.

Do some research for yourself too don't just trust in this...it's only from looking at one site!

Love you all

stay thin

xoxo

DRINKS:

coffee 

green tea

water

milk

...

So in just a couple weeks ill be seeing my boyfriend for the first time in about a month.
he'll see my body for the first time in about 3 months
i dont know what to do
i was supposed to be perfect for him right now
i was supposed to get my act together
but somehow even while trying to lose i gained
now i have a friend that i text everything i eat to so i dont binge because id be ashamed to tell her
but i keep feeling like im doing horrible
though shes encouraging me saying im doing well
i need to stop eating
fast or only fruits and veggies
hes improved himself so much and i havnt done anything i dont want to feel like i dont deserve him at all
less food less food get skinny get skinny
stay strong loves
i am losing now, though slowly
less food, pick up the pace
ill be going to metabolism boosters, back to my green tea pills and adding cinnamon to everything
try those they help me a lot
stay strong
post any tips and tricks you have<3
xoxo

For Those That Will Fast With Me

pick:
weekend or weekday
and
one day or two


pick ASAP so we can get all of us on the same schedule?(:

Fast

I really need to fast. Like asap this week. I do the best when others are fasting with me? Any takers?

I'm Back

Hey everyone I'm back and surprised to find that I still have followers.
Thank you loves<3
So basically I hate to say it but apparently the best way for me to lose weight is to be sad. 
I've lost a lot of my appetite lately and my scale says 118.0, it reads heavy which means that I'm 116.5 or less.   Just about 10 lbs left to my goal weight.  
But, on the brightside I am losing weight(:
Does anyone have tips for keeping weight off? I'm worried about gaining when I feel better and regain my appetite.
Love you all.

Stay beautiful<3

Food Log- Tuesday, June 16, 2011

frosting
2 french fries
1 serving pretzles
1/2 stick gum
1 can diet soda
1 small steak taco = 1 corn tortilla 3 thin steak slices, natural salsa, cheese
water
2 reeses bunnies
2 servings microwave popcorn

Sorry Guys

Hey all
Sorry Ive been MIA for awhile
truth be told i havnt wanted to post cuz ive been gaining
up in the 120s now tear   :'(
hope you all aare doing well!
watch me get back on track
im not gna be the fat chick on the beach this summer

stay strong girls
xoxo

Fat

Today:
fast food TWICE! i never eat fast food!!!
i ate wayy too many cals too.
i dont even want to weigh myself...
stress sucks
i made my bfs leg go numb.
my sister and mom called me "dense" you look small but you're dense...
mom called me fatty.
can i get any more motivation today?
rest of today...no food
tomorrow...fast
thursday...light meals
friday...fast
saturday...only dinner  (omg hottub with friends saturday:[ )


somebody fast with me?  definatly helps me

love you girls
stay strong we can do this
xoxo

Chocolate

I broke my fast today, a migrane while fasting was not enjoyable so when my boyfriend offered to make me breakfast I couldn't resist.
I, later, picked up candy for my sister (i had wayyy too much) hope i didn't undo my 2 days of fasting...i may have...
on the plus side it will be a LONG time before I want candy again!

But wow 2 days of fasting!  Before this ive only had one successful day (minus one chip)
I'm so excited & determined.

Tomorrow's food is planned:
breakfast-oatmeal
@ school-apple slices
after school- oatmeal
small portion of dinner
drinks: water, tea, diet coke

if im way up from where I got from the fast Tuesday will probably be a fast day
I love you all and I'm going to do this i promise<3
Get skinny with mee!!??(:

xoxo

Fast

Day 1 of my fast-- sucessful! I swear my ana buddy is a life saver!
Day 2- Here we go.  Got a 2 liter of diet coke in case cravings start to get the best of me, this way i can avoid a binge. 

Yesterday morning: 119.1
this morning: 116.7

2.4 pounds lost in one day! Woohoo!
3 day fast. I can't wait to see where I weigh in on monday.  Maybe I'll break my usual 115 plateau and be right on track with my goals at 113.  Let's cross our fingers!

How's ur dieting going my loves?

Binge.

why do i do this to myself?
i havnt hit my goals but i refuse to change them
i believe i should be 113 by monday
I need to be back on track by next week
fasting friday, saturday, sunday
bring it on!! im going to be skinny!!!
im not going to let myself down. im not going to let my boyfriend down. im not going to let my ana buddy down.
im going to do this just you wait and see.
one day ill see my photo in a thinspo<3
you with me girls? skinny this summer!!!

Thinspiration

GOALS

I'm going to change. I'm running low on time. Here are my goals.  Hold me to them?
Nothing I'll give up even compares to how good the perfect body will feel!!!
Weigh in every Monday.    (note: I plateau at around 115 so send any tips for breaking through that quickly!!!)

April 4    115 lbs
April 11  113 lbs
April 18  111 lbs
April 25  109 lbs
May 2     107 lbs
May 9     105 lbs



That's all of it for now.  My goals really 106 but I wanted to go by 2s.   Here we goo!!!!!!
I'll be ready for summer in May<3

Stay Strong
xoxo

Only When I'm Thin Will I...

...be beautiful
...love my body
...have a perfect mind & body & soul
...make girls envious
...rock a bikini
...have confidence
...prove that I am strong
...show how I can control myself
...be happy
...enjoy summer
...wear shorts
...not jiggle
...not be embarassed
...smile
...be loved
...make every guy want me
...keep my guy from looking at other girls
...be the best possible me




Future Me...

Control

I need to get back in control.
I lost my appetite at the beginning of my period.
Today, when i didnt have my meals fully planned the cravings attacked.
chocolate cupcake
chocolate candies
a lot more
I dont want to purge. Ill regain control. Pushing my success back another few days.
Im running out of time. I cant keep doing this.
I need to regain control.

I want to tell my boyfriend "I promie I'll be perfect for you."   I don't think our definition of perfect is the same. He likes curves. I like bones. He knows I'm trying to lose weight. I doubt he knows how much.   He supports me eating well but we eat junk together.  I don't know what to do...
I want to apologize. He's so supportive. && I just let him down. I do well for a day or two then break.  He deserves a girl with a perfect body and I keep fucking up and can't give that to him.  I want to change and be skinny.  I need to show him I'm not all talk, that I can change.  I want him to have a reason to believe in me.
..

This morings weight 117.7
Tomorrow will be higher.
Saturday NEEDS to be lower.

stay strong
dont break
be skinny
xoxo

I Found What Works

for me, i finally figured it out(:
combination of planning and staying busy.

Yesterday I wrote out what I would eat today:
breakfast- oatmeal
snack- sliced fruit
lunch- rice noodles w/ peppers and zuchinni
pre workout snack - 1/2 apple sliced &  P.B. protein bar
dinner- stir fry or what my family had

I precooked all my food and it was so easy to just grab it and go today!
It made it so much easier to say no when I was offered junk food too. If it wasn't on the list I didn't eat it.
Control.

I also stayed busy so there wasn't time to snack because of boredom, staying out of the house especially helps me.

I went for a 40 min run/jog/walk today as well.

I'm not kidding guys I'm going to be skinny for summer, you just wait(:
Sticking to plans today felt great!   Fast tomorrow, only allowing vitamin C drinks (bfs sick), tea and water
Hopefully the bf dsnt try to feed me!


Love you girls stay strong!!!
xoxo

Currently

Cw: 118.1

Fasting has not been going so great lately.  I always break for one reason or another.
But, I've been binging less and im still losing weight so it's fairly sucessful.  I'm making myself healthy meals and planning ahead of time so i can avoid snacking in the moment. 
I want to fast again soon because I'm not allowing myself to spray tan until I do and I want to be darker!
I also want to hit 110 because then I'll allow myself to put in a dangly belly ring and not a half pound before!!!
Love you girls. 
I'm thinking my fast day will be Wednesday. Anyone with me?
<3  

Spring; A Time of New Beginnings

CW: 118.5 lbs

Spring is officially here everyone!
Time for new beginnings, just a few months until summer, i know we need perfect bodies by then and we can do it, we jut have to be strong!!!!
I've been looking foward to being skinny this summer for months now, I'm not about to go sit on the beach with my fat hanging off everywhere!
I really wanted to spray tan last night but I held off because today is a fasting day and I'm going to use it as my reward tonight.
"If you don't eat at all today, you can spray tan tonight."
I hope you all are doing well and inching closer to your goals.
Stay strong!!!

Thinspo



Optimistic

OMG guys more than doubled my followers today?
I love you guys so much THANK YOU for having an interest in knowing what I have to say
I know with your help we can ALL do this<3
Today, definatly not perfect eating.
But it wasn't a massive binge, just a little more than I planned on.
I did go to the gym and I'm about to go to practice, plus I planned on extra calories today because tomorrow I'm fasting.
Anyone with me?


Here we go...tiny for summer.
No more hiding fat & being self-conscience. We can do this<3
Stay strong.
xoxo

Binged. Disgusted.

Binged.
Don't even want to tell you how bad:(
ugh
i have 3 whole followers and i feel like im letting you guys down im so sorry!!!!!
I'll fix this.  Hot body here I come!!!!
tomorrow: salad for lunch, healthy snack before workout, healthy snack before practice. && LOTS OF WATER.
friday: fast!!!!! i won't be around the people that tend to tempt me so i know i can do it.
saturday: light eating.
sunday: light eating.
hopefully thisll make me 115. Then I'll plateau and I'll need to push to get under that for the first time since I hit 115 back in middle school!!! 
I really need you guys & your comments & support to do this. I appreciate you following much more than you know, it gives me a reason to do well, it's not just for me, it's for you too(: 
&& always know that im here to help you as well let me know what I can do
I love you guys<333
xoxo

Sorry I Havn't Updated

Missed my goal.
I refuse to move Tuesday's goal (112) back.  I'll do whatever I can to get there.
Past 2 days I've been doing better eating healthy (except for the doughnut I just broke for :'(  )   and went to the gym both days.
So tell me why I not only stopped losing weight. But I GAINED!  Three whole pounds! Seriously devestating.  I'm really hoping that it's just one of those situations that has to get worse before it can get better.  Plus, my boyfriend says he cal tell that I've gotten a bit skinnier ( I loveee that he doesn't exaggerate so I really know when i'm improving and when I'm not!)
I've decided the best thing for me is to keep eating well and to not weight myself for a few days (today being the 1st and its already hard!).  But, I feel like I'll be turned off working out if I look at my weight right now.
Any advice on this?

Yesterdays Workout ( I had about 90 mins to be at the gym)
Eliptical:  15 mins + 3 min cooldown   = about 240 cal
Treadmil: incline-2.0  pace b/w 2.0 and 5.3  (most of the time between 3.5 and 5.0)  for 1 hour  =  420 cal



Today's Food
1 piece PB toast
1 spinach salad w/almonds
1 apple   = 70 cal
1.5 servings pop chips
1/4 cup pasta with cheese & sauce
1 flourless doughnut    = 220 cal
1 tuna melt   
1 piece of bread w/ tuna   (flourless bread is very small)
1 serving organic chips and salsa



No gym today. :'(

Thinspire.

Reached New Goals

Yesterday:
I was doing well until I went out for lunch. 

Before lunch:
1/4 cup lemonade
4 apple slices
1 asian pear   

Lunch:
2 chicken tacos from taco bell      

I was pissed  at myself and couldn't wait to get home so I could go on my run.   Even though I was mad at myself, I knew I was about 119 that morning and my run plus fasting for the rest of the day would fix it and if I just moved my goal of 117 pounds from March 1st to March 2nd I could make it.  I took 2 caffine pills insted of the reccomended 1 (I've done this before but I didn't think about my headache, the fact that my green tea pills had caffine already, and that I was hungry).  My run started off nice it was so cool to feel my legs just keep going and going and going.  Then my caffine started making me feel very funny and I began to walk back home.  I ended up having an anxiety attack and my mom had me eat to help with the shakyness from caffine.  I ate more than I wanted to and ended up on the couch the entire night with a massive headache and stomach cramps. No good.


Today:
This morning I weighed myself. I'm 117.1 pounds!   I had hit my goal on time and couldn't believe it.  Another positive thing, my entire class is eating well which is extrememly motivating and it's great learning about nutrition in my class time.  I'm so excited about my weight loss and I know I can keep going.  I will give the link later when i find it again but I liked how one blogger that I'm following has her goals set up & I've decided to follow them because they work well with me.  I'm supposed to hit 115 in a week (March 8th).  115 is usually the exactly th place where I plateau and I've never made it under but I'm determined this time. Here we go!!!


Food So far:
1 egg white omlette w/broccoli & cheese
1 apple
apple slices
veggie soup (broccoli & quinoa)
1 serving (24) pretzles
1/2 a poppyseed muffin
tacos for dinner then done for the day

I'll need to cut back more tomorrow and get some cardio in.  Love you all.  Stay strong & be beautiful!!!!

Updates

Sorry I  havn't posted this weekend!
I've been busy, but I've had posts in mind everyday.
I don't feel exactly the same anymore about everything I'm going to type but I remember what I was thinking at every point I thought about posting for you and I'm going to write it all.

Saturday!
119 lbs!!! (118.9 to be exact lol)  I was so excited and feeling so good that I did a happy dance right there in the bathroom.  Then it was time to go with my mom for prom dress shopping.  Wasnt likeing much, things clung to stomach fat and hugged my hips wayy to tight.  After a taco, beans, chips, and fries for lunch almost all of my excitement about my body had faded away.  It DID NOT help when there was this cookie-cutter cheerleader (gorgeous brown hair, skinny, tan, white teeth) trying on clothes in the fitting room right by me.  I'd walk out in my dress hating how it hugged all the wrong spots and shed walk out like a princess in hers.   Plus, I had to listen to the people she was with saying do you need a smaller size? is the zero too big? With my mom and friend by me saying is that 4 too small? should we get you a 6?  Out for dinner,  fries and a chicken sandwhich.  Did a rough total of the days calories in my head. Over 2,000.   :(

Sunday: Woke up not feeling to great.  Didn't have the most amazing night.  Didn't want to eat but my boyfriend cooked me breakfast anyway.  Small breakfast, lunch, and dinner was all today.  and a piece of candy.  Decent I guess.  I found a prom dress that I'm in love with, so that helped my mood considerably.  I wanted to be 117 by March 1st, after my eating yesterday I'm worried I've gone up and ruined the chances of that:/   I'll check my weight in the morning.

Love you all,
stay strong!!

Thinspo

Currently

Yesterday was bad! bad, bad, bad!   I'm not even going to get into it.   I'll just say that I have not yet gotten back to my weight of 119.5 that I was at before my vacation.   I'm roughly 122 now.  I've gained 2.5 pounds!  
Today will be better.  I need to eat healthy, I'm going to change things now.   I'll post goals on here (with the dates I'll meet them by as well so I can't keep putting this off.)  Plusssss I've been sick for over a month and I really hope that eating well will get me over this.
Today so far:
less that 1/4 bottle soda (to take vitamins/meds. without tasting them)
spinach salad

This was the beginning of my day.  The end went okay except me caving to finish off cookie dough my family had talked me into saving!
Rest of the Day:
Apple
Banana & P.B.
Cookie Dough
Pork Paparika on Brown Rice


Didn't officially add it up but everything was in small portions so theres no way I passed 1000 cals!(:
Andd my scale says I weigh 121.8 (my scale reads roungly 1.5 lbs heavy, any one know where I can get a new one?)   This means I'm about 120.3, and you weigh the most at night so I'm guessing I'll be back to my 119.5 by morning!
I'm insanely happy and I'm back on track!



CONFIDENCE  THINSPO!!!
look how confident you could be if you were thin