Control

I need to get back in control.
I lost my appetite at the beginning of my period.
Today, when i didnt have my meals fully planned the cravings attacked.
chocolate cupcake
chocolate candies
a lot more
I dont want to purge. Ill regain control. Pushing my success back another few days.
Im running out of time. I cant keep doing this.
I need to regain control.

I want to tell my boyfriend "I promie I'll be perfect for you."   I don't think our definition of perfect is the same. He likes curves. I like bones. He knows I'm trying to lose weight. I doubt he knows how much.   He supports me eating well but we eat junk together.  I don't know what to do...
I want to apologize. He's so supportive. && I just let him down. I do well for a day or two then break.  He deserves a girl with a perfect body and I keep fucking up and can't give that to him.  I want to change and be skinny.  I need to show him I'm not all talk, that I can change.  I want him to have a reason to believe in me.
..

This morings weight 117.7
Tomorrow will be higher.
Saturday NEEDS to be lower.

stay strong
dont break
be skinny
xoxo