GOALS

I'm going to change. I'm running low on time. Here are my goals.  Hold me to them?
Nothing I'll give up even compares to how good the perfect body will feel!!!
Weigh in every Monday.    (note: I plateau at around 115 so send any tips for breaking through that quickly!!!)

April 4    115 lbs
April 11  113 lbs
April 18  111 lbs
April 25  109 lbs
May 2     107 lbs
May 9     105 lbs



That's all of it for now.  My goals really 106 but I wanted to go by 2s.   Here we goo!!!!!!
I'll be ready for summer in May<3

Stay Strong
xoxo

Only When I'm Thin Will I...

...be beautiful
...love my body
...have a perfect mind & body & soul
...make girls envious
...rock a bikini
...have confidence
...prove that I am strong
...show how I can control myself
...be happy
...enjoy summer
...wear shorts
...not jiggle
...not be embarassed
...smile
...be loved
...make every guy want me
...keep my guy from looking at other girls
...be the best possible me




Future Me...

Control

I need to get back in control.
I lost my appetite at the beginning of my period.
Today, when i didnt have my meals fully planned the cravings attacked.
chocolate cupcake
chocolate candies
a lot more
I dont want to purge. Ill regain control. Pushing my success back another few days.
Im running out of time. I cant keep doing this.
I need to regain control.

I want to tell my boyfriend "I promie I'll be perfect for you."   I don't think our definition of perfect is the same. He likes curves. I like bones. He knows I'm trying to lose weight. I doubt he knows how much.   He supports me eating well but we eat junk together.  I don't know what to do...
I want to apologize. He's so supportive. && I just let him down. I do well for a day or two then break.  He deserves a girl with a perfect body and I keep fucking up and can't give that to him.  I want to change and be skinny.  I need to show him I'm not all talk, that I can change.  I want him to have a reason to believe in me.
..

This morings weight 117.7
Tomorrow will be higher.
Saturday NEEDS to be lower.

stay strong
dont break
be skinny
xoxo

I Found What Works

for me, i finally figured it out(:
combination of planning and staying busy.

Yesterday I wrote out what I would eat today:
breakfast- oatmeal
snack- sliced fruit
lunch- rice noodles w/ peppers and zuchinni
pre workout snack - 1/2 apple sliced &  P.B. protein bar
dinner- stir fry or what my family had

I precooked all my food and it was so easy to just grab it and go today!
It made it so much easier to say no when I was offered junk food too. If it wasn't on the list I didn't eat it.
Control.

I also stayed busy so there wasn't time to snack because of boredom, staying out of the house especially helps me.

I went for a 40 min run/jog/walk today as well.

I'm not kidding guys I'm going to be skinny for summer, you just wait(:
Sticking to plans today felt great!   Fast tomorrow, only allowing vitamin C drinks (bfs sick), tea and water
Hopefully the bf dsnt try to feed me!


Love you girls stay strong!!!
xoxo

Currently

Cw: 118.1

Fasting has not been going so great lately.  I always break for one reason or another.
But, I've been binging less and im still losing weight so it's fairly sucessful.  I'm making myself healthy meals and planning ahead of time so i can avoid snacking in the moment. 
I want to fast again soon because I'm not allowing myself to spray tan until I do and I want to be darker!
I also want to hit 110 because then I'll allow myself to put in a dangly belly ring and not a half pound before!!!
Love you girls. 
I'm thinking my fast day will be Wednesday. Anyone with me?
<3  

Spring; A Time of New Beginnings

CW: 118.5 lbs

Spring is officially here everyone!
Time for new beginnings, just a few months until summer, i know we need perfect bodies by then and we can do it, we jut have to be strong!!!!
I've been looking foward to being skinny this summer for months now, I'm not about to go sit on the beach with my fat hanging off everywhere!
I really wanted to spray tan last night but I held off because today is a fasting day and I'm going to use it as my reward tonight.
"If you don't eat at all today, you can spray tan tonight."
I hope you all are doing well and inching closer to your goals.
Stay strong!!!

Thinspo



Optimistic

OMG guys more than doubled my followers today?
I love you guys so much THANK YOU for having an interest in knowing what I have to say
I know with your help we can ALL do this<3
Today, definatly not perfect eating.
But it wasn't a massive binge, just a little more than I planned on.
I did go to the gym and I'm about to go to practice, plus I planned on extra calories today because tomorrow I'm fasting.
Anyone with me?


Here we go...tiny for summer.
No more hiding fat & being self-conscience. We can do this<3
Stay strong.
xoxo

Binged. Disgusted.

Binged.
Don't even want to tell you how bad:(
ugh
i have 3 whole followers and i feel like im letting you guys down im so sorry!!!!!
I'll fix this.  Hot body here I come!!!!
tomorrow: salad for lunch, healthy snack before workout, healthy snack before practice. && LOTS OF WATER.
friday: fast!!!!! i won't be around the people that tend to tempt me so i know i can do it.
saturday: light eating.
sunday: light eating.
hopefully thisll make me 115. Then I'll plateau and I'll need to push to get under that for the first time since I hit 115 back in middle school!!! 
I really need you guys & your comments & support to do this. I appreciate you following much more than you know, it gives me a reason to do well, it's not just for me, it's for you too(: 
&& always know that im here to help you as well let me know what I can do
I love you guys<333
xoxo

Sorry I Havn't Updated

Missed my goal.
I refuse to move Tuesday's goal (112) back.  I'll do whatever I can to get there.
Past 2 days I've been doing better eating healthy (except for the doughnut I just broke for :'(  )   and went to the gym both days.
So tell me why I not only stopped losing weight. But I GAINED!  Three whole pounds! Seriously devestating.  I'm really hoping that it's just one of those situations that has to get worse before it can get better.  Plus, my boyfriend says he cal tell that I've gotten a bit skinnier ( I loveee that he doesn't exaggerate so I really know when i'm improving and when I'm not!)
I've decided the best thing for me is to keep eating well and to not weight myself for a few days (today being the 1st and its already hard!).  But, I feel like I'll be turned off working out if I look at my weight right now.
Any advice on this?

Yesterdays Workout ( I had about 90 mins to be at the gym)
Eliptical:  15 mins + 3 min cooldown   = about 240 cal
Treadmil: incline-2.0  pace b/w 2.0 and 5.3  (most of the time between 3.5 and 5.0)  for 1 hour  =  420 cal



Today's Food
1 piece PB toast
1 spinach salad w/almonds
1 apple   = 70 cal
1.5 servings pop chips
1/4 cup pasta with cheese & sauce
1 flourless doughnut    = 220 cal
1 tuna melt   
1 piece of bread w/ tuna   (flourless bread is very small)
1 serving organic chips and salsa



No gym today. :'(

Thinspire.

Reached New Goals

Yesterday:
I was doing well until I went out for lunch. 

Before lunch:
1/4 cup lemonade
4 apple slices
1 asian pear   

Lunch:
2 chicken tacos from taco bell      

I was pissed  at myself and couldn't wait to get home so I could go on my run.   Even though I was mad at myself, I knew I was about 119 that morning and my run plus fasting for the rest of the day would fix it and if I just moved my goal of 117 pounds from March 1st to March 2nd I could make it.  I took 2 caffine pills insted of the reccomended 1 (I've done this before but I didn't think about my headache, the fact that my green tea pills had caffine already, and that I was hungry).  My run started off nice it was so cool to feel my legs just keep going and going and going.  Then my caffine started making me feel very funny and I began to walk back home.  I ended up having an anxiety attack and my mom had me eat to help with the shakyness from caffine.  I ate more than I wanted to and ended up on the couch the entire night with a massive headache and stomach cramps. No good.


Today:
This morning I weighed myself. I'm 117.1 pounds!   I had hit my goal on time and couldn't believe it.  Another positive thing, my entire class is eating well which is extrememly motivating and it's great learning about nutrition in my class time.  I'm so excited about my weight loss and I know I can keep going.  I will give the link later when i find it again but I liked how one blogger that I'm following has her goals set up & I've decided to follow them because they work well with me.  I'm supposed to hit 115 in a week (March 8th).  115 is usually the exactly th place where I plateau and I've never made it under but I'm determined this time. Here we go!!!


Food So far:
1 egg white omlette w/broccoli & cheese
1 apple
apple slices
veggie soup (broccoli & quinoa)
1 serving (24) pretzles
1/2 a poppyseed muffin
tacos for dinner then done for the day

I'll need to cut back more tomorrow and get some cardio in.  Love you all.  Stay strong & be beautiful!!!!